


A place to call home

by tenmillionotters



Category: Bloodborne (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 17:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16123196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenmillionotters/pseuds/tenmillionotters
Summary: “I will join you, but I want you to go back to the dream first,” they both dreamed, but never together. There was a shadow of Gascoigne in his dream, but when he was honest, the shadow of Gascoigne followed him everywhere. In his waking hours and in his dreams, in his longing and in his grief. If he would have to separate his being from the other, he would fall apart, he would stop existing once and for all.





	A place to call home

**Author's Note:**

> Some Gascoryk for your soul, dedicated to the best lizard in the world

“... you can’t go home like that…”, it was merely a poor excuse dressed as concern, he only wanted to feel their skin touch once more. Henryk carefully let his fingers run over Gascoigne’s bruised skin.

“I know,” he murmured but it seemed like he didn’t even listen to the older man at all, “But I don’t want to waste more time… I miss my family.” 

The words cut skin deep, no, deeper, so much deeper. He felt his head spin as his fingers dug deep into the fabric of the other’s coat, “Do you really want your daughters to see you like that? You shouldn’t bring the hunt back to them, you’re their father and they shouldn’t see you as anything else.” His voice was shaking, almost pleading. 

Was he asking him to separate the hunt and his domestic life for the sake of his family, or rather to pretend that at least for a short span of time they were the only two people in this godforsaken city? He found solitude in the few hours they spend together hunting, side by side, in perfect unity. 

In quiet moments in the dark, when he was all by himself he would remember the times they stood back to back, the recoil of Gascoigne’s blunderbuss shaking them to the core, the smell of blood seeping through their clothes and minds. 

In quiet moments like that he wished for it to end, once and for all, he wanted to stop dreaming when he found himself to be the happiest, at the side of the man that he - 

“Henryk?” 

The sound of his voice never failed to shake him to his very core, he felt shivers run down his spine every time he said his name, when he screamed it… 

“Yes…?” 

Gascoigne sighed and let his hands brush through his hair, strains of light silver slipped through his fingers, Henryk could only wonder what it felt like. “Did you even listen to me?”, he was used to it by now. Henryk was somewhat of a daydreamer. 

But there was no room for judgemental feelings, when all they did was dream. For a night. Forever. 

“... not really.”

“I said, I am sure that Eve would be very happy to see you again, you haven’t visited her in a long while,” he almost sounded demanding, Henryk felt his chest tighten. For as much as he didn’t want to see Gascoigne turn onto something he longed for so badly, something he would never be able to call his own, he couldn’t say no. 

He couldn’t blame the child for the words he had never spoken, he couldn’t blame her for the regret he felt when he wished to turn back time to the moments where it was really just them. 

“I will join you, but I want you to go back to the dream first,” they both dreamed, but never together. There was a shadow of Gascoigne in his dream, but when he was honest, the shadow of Gascoigne followed him everywhere. In his waking hours and in his dreams, in his longing and in his grief. If he would have to separate his being from the other, he would fall apart, he would stop existing once and for all. 

So they walked quietly side by side, once they stopped dreaming. Henryk felt empty, he felt every step shake his being to the very core. He still felt the sorrowful look the doll gave him lingering on his skin, she knew of his troubles, she knew of his pain. Like a loving mother she had listened to him, gave him peace of mind, but she didn’t understand him. She loved the hunters, they loved her, but she would never understand the longing he felt that was instilled in his heart by yearning for a love that would never be his. 

“Grandpa!” 

The heavy door swung open, Viola and Roseline stood behind, Eve stumbled towards her father and Henryk. Almost automatically Henryk sunk to his knees, he opened his arms and felt the impact of the small body crashing into him. 

“You’re back! What took you so long?” 

“I’m sorry… grandpa was busy, you know?” 

She nodded and giggled as he lifted her up, she loved wearing his hat, so he let her. He loved this child as if it were his own flesh and blood, she made it easier to accept that he missed his chance. Maybe it was for the better that Gascoigne was louder about his affections, yes, maybe it was for the better that he married Viola.

They were so happy together, a picture perfect family. Something he could only dream of. Everything she gave him, were things that Henryk had dismissed as something unimportant, until it was too late for him to admit that it was jealousy that made him feel this way. 

“Can you read my bedtime story tonight, grandpa?”, little hands pulled on his jacket, she was impatient, she wanted an answer now. 

“How could I deny a princess one of her wishes?” 

She smiled proudly, she didn’t care about the royal title, she only cared about grandpa spending time with her. Eve was still so small, she didn’t understand the horrors that haunted this city, she didn’t know of the distrust and hatred outsiders had to face. She didn’t know anything about this world, how it worked, how it could break one’s heart and by God, he wished she would always live like this. 

“Henryk, it’s so good to see you,” Viola was so soft spoken, but still her voice was just… no… even stronger than Gascoigne’s. The gentle warmth cut right through his soul, hearing her speak made him want to cry. Should he feel resentment towards her? After all she was the one who took away the one thing he loved more than anything else, but at the same time she was the one that made him the happiest. 

“Hello Viola,” his mask could hide his mouth, it could hide his trembling lips, it could muffle the sound of his voice, but it would never be able to conceal the pain in his eyes. 

“Papa I have to show you something!”, Roseline grabbed her father’s arm and pulled him inside, she was old enough to understand the signs when she saw them, this wasn’t the time for all of them to reunite like the family they were, could be, if the missing piece finally accepted its place among them. 

“No! Wait for me!”, Eve wriggled her way out of Henryk’s embrace and followed her father and sister inside their house. 

Now only Henryk and Viola stood between the doorframe and the staircase. 

“... are you okay?”

He wasn’t really someone to talk much about his feelings, about the things that moved him, but unlike the doll… Viola understood. 

“... do you want an honest answer or do you want a lie that’ll give you peace of mind?” 

The red brooch that Gascoigne had crafted with so much love and care sparkled in the warm sunlight the morning brought, the nights were getting longer and longer, but the morning still came. After all, the world still kept moving forward. 

“I want you to be honest with me, Henryk. I’m not as dense as _he_ is, I can see that something is wrong.” 

Yes, of course she did, behind the gentle features, soft eyes and warm voice, she was still an attentive person. How long did she know? When did she pick up on the feelings he was trying to kill for so long? 

“... I don’t think you want to hear me say it…”, not that he didn’t want to say it, he wanted at least one person, one that was living and breathing, to hear these words, it should become his testament, he wanted to speak it into existence, but … Viola? He knew that it wasn’t cruelty speaking, he knew that she felt for him but still. 

“Henryk. I wouldn’t ask this of you if I didn’t want to hear it but if you don’t want to say it… it’s fine too… but just know that I don’t hold it against you,” she smiled but guilt danced behind her eyes, “If I would have met _you_ sooner -”

He felt his heart jump in his chest, in the beginning he thought the same, he wished for her to vanish from the face of earth… before he met her. Getting to know her made it hard for him to hate her, he couldn’t resent her, he couldn’t love her like Gascoigne did, but he did, in fact, love her.

“Please don’t say that -”, Henryk laughed, but pain swayed in his voice, “You’re giving him something I never could, you gave him the family he wanted… a home he can return to. All I can offer is …” 

“Security.” 

Even the gentlest water could shape the stone, gentle water could turn into a powerful force, it could destroy, it could bring life. Viola wasn’t a flower, she was a stream, she was the ocean, she was a force of nature. 

Small hands carefully touched his, “It is not only me that gives him a family and a home, don’t you see that you’re doing the same? Maybe he can’t see how much you love him, but I do… and I’m glad you do. Love makes us human and I don’t ever want him to lose it. Neither of you. You’re the reason why we can always welcome him here, I’m beyond grateful for everything you do for us… so please don’t think you’re not part of this family. I know it’s…” 

Seeing her smile, seeing her smile through pain and guilt broke his heart in a way he never knew it could. 

“... it’s not what you want… I can’t give you the love you desire from him… but I can offer you a home, I… we can be your family and maybe one day he’ll understand,” the warm sunlight slowly crept up her features, made them softer, “My parents teached me to share the things I love with the people I love so…” 

Maybe if he would hold her tight this feeling would stop haunting him, the feeling of his body falling to pieces; he felt her giggle, her thin arms wrapping around his body, he felt so small in her embrace. Where the doll didn’t understand, Viola did and she answered his yearning with love. 

“If I could just ask you for one more thing…” 

“... yes?” 

“Please take good care of him, I can’t protect him out there… but you do, you’re the only person I can ask this of… I know it’s selfish but…” 

He only shook his head and smiled, even though she couldn’t see it, “We can’t risk losing what we love the most, can we…?” 

“We don’t…”


End file.
